Ruin Read online

  I feel a wave of emotion.

  Zeus was the love of my life. But Ares was my friend. We went to high school together, and after Zeus left to get a job and box full-time, Ares was the one to watch out for me at school. When Zeus and I broke up, I didn’t just lose him; I lost my friend, too.

  Freeing his arms from around me, he steps back and looks me in the eyes. “You’re not getting rid of us now, you know. We’re here to stay.”

  He grins, and I laugh softly.

  “Glad to hear it.”

  Zeus comes over with Gigi still in his arms.

  “Mommy, can we eat now?”

  “Sure, Gigi girl.” I smile at her. “Why don’t you take our guests into the living room, and I’ll bring the food through?”

  “I’ll give you a hand,” Zeus says.

  “And I’ll grab the drinks,” Aunt Elle announces.

  “Thanks again for inviting us,” Missy says to me as we all reach the door.

  They’re leaving, as Ares has to be up early for practice. It’s well past Gigi’s bedtime, and she’s starting to tire.

  “You’re welcome anytime,” I tell her.

  “You’re gonna regret saying that.” She chuckles, and I laugh, opening the door for them.

  But I can’t imagine ever regretting it. Today has been really great. I was totally worried for no reason.

  We all got along great. It was like old times. At one point, we were even all out back, playing a game of football, as Gigi wanted Ares to show her how to play. Even Aunt Elle joined in.

  It was fun.

  But, now, Gigi’s saying she wants to play football.

  Not sure how that will go over with Miss Hannah, her ballet teacher, but if my girl wants to learn to play football, then she can.

  But, mainly, they doted on Gigi. And she loved the attention.

  I have a feeling that my girl has each and every one of the Kincaids wrapped around her little finger.

  Lo and Ares say their byes to Gigi, and I receive a kiss on the cheek from each of them before they step outside with Zeus.

  Aunt Elle’s not here. She said her good-byes earlier. She had gotten a call about an hour ago and had to head into the station.

  Missy drops to one knee in front of Gigi. “So, I’ll see you real soon, Gigi. And your mom has my number now, so we can FaceTime whenever you want.”

  “I’ll set it up on her iPad, so she can call you,” I tell Missy. “But you do realize that you’ll probably get calls at six in the morning.”

  “No problem at all. I’m usually up early.”

  “You mean, up late and coming home at six,” Lo grunts from outside the door.

  She rolls her eyes and says, “I have no idea what you mean, little brother.”

  Missy is older by five minutes, and she doesn’t let Lo forget it.

  She focuses her attention back on Gigi. “Can I have a hug from my gorgeous niece before I go?”

  I love how she always asks Gigi for her permission before hugging her. I hate it when relatives force kids to hug and kiss them.

  “Of cwourse you can, Aunt Missy!” Gigi giggles and launches herself at Missy, nearly knocking her over.

  “Steady, Gigi,” I say.

  “She’s fine.” Missy chuckles. “Best tackle hug I’ve ever received. We’ll make a football player out of you yet.”

  She gently tweaks Gigi’s nose and then gets to her feet. She comes over to me and wraps her arms around me. “Thank you, Cam,” she says quietly. The emotion I hear in her voice puts a lump in my throat. “This is the happiest I’ve seen Zeus in a long time.” She pulls back and looks me in the eyes. “He…told me that you’re seeing someone. A cop?”

  My eyes seek out Gigi, and I see she’s outside with the men.

  Missy drops her voice even lower, recognizing my concern. “I just wanted to say that I hope you’re happy. You deserve to be.”

  I swallow back my emotion. “I’m not…I mean, I am happy. But that’s not because of Rich. And I don’t know exactly what Zeus told you, but the thing with Rich…it’s not serious. Honestly, I don’t even know if I’m seeing him anymore. Things are…complicated at the moment.”

  My eyes flicker to Zeus without permission. He’s laughing at something Ares just said. His smiling eyes meet mine, and something tugs painfully in my chest.

  “He’s never gotten over you,” Missy softly tells me, pulling my eyes back to hers. “And something tells me that you’ve never gotten over him either.”

  I press my lips together, not wanting to say anything because I’m not sure what to say.

  “God, sorry.” She screws up her face. “I’m overstepping, like usual. Just tell me to mind my own business.”

  “You’re fine. It’s just…”

  “Complicated,” she finishes for me.

  “Yeah.” I sigh.

  “Life would be a hell of a lot simpler if things weren’t though, right?”

  I nod my agreement.

  She presses a kiss to my cheek. “Thanks again, Cam. And, next time, I promise to keep my opinions to myself.”

  I smile at her before she turns away.

  “Right, come on, boys.” She claps her hands together. “Let’s leave Cam in peace.”

  “What? You were the one holding us up by chatting with her,” Lo grumbles.

  She passes him, going down the porch steps. “I wasn’t chatting. I was talking.”

  “Isn’t that the same thing?”

  “No.”

  “I think, if you check the dictionary, you’ll find it is.”

  “Shut up, Lo.”

  “Jesus, I’m gonna have to listen to you two bitching all the way home,” Ares complains as they start to walk down the driveway toward Ares’s car.

  “So long as Lo doesn’t talk, we should be fine,” I hear Missy say.

  I laugh.

  Zeus picks up Gigi and comes over to stand beside me. She rests her head on his shoulder, her eyes drooping.

  “Bedtime,” I say to her.

  She must be tired because she doesn’t even complain.

  “You want me to put her down?” Zeus asks.

  “That’d be great,” I tell him. “I’ll get the house cleaned up.”

  I do kind of miss putting Gigi to bed, but I’ve had four years of doing it, so I figure it’s only right to let Zeus do it for now.

  “If you wait, I’ll help you when I come down.”

  “It’s fine.” I wave him off. I give Gigi a good-night kiss. “Night, baby.”

  “Night, Mommy,” she mumbles, sounding exhausted.

  “Maybe skip brushing her teeth tonight,” I tell Zeus, “and just put her straight to bed.”

  “Got it,” he says.

  I watch him carry her upstairs, emotion swelling inside me at the sight of them together like that.

  I swear, every time I see Zeus carrying her, my ovaries do a shimmy, and I can’t help but think, What if…

  Shaking my head clear of those thoughts, I head into the kitchen and start on the cleanup.

  I’ve just finished filling the dishwasher up when Zeus comes in.

  “She asleep?” I ask.

  “The second her head hit the pillow. I didn’t even have to read her a story.”

  “I think all the excitement and the football game wiped her out.”

  “Yeah,” he agrees. Then, “You should have let me clean up. You did all the cooking.”

  “It’s not a problem,” I tell him.

  “Have I told you those cupcakes you made were amazing?”

  “Only about ten times.”

  “Clearly not enough then.”

  His eyes sparkle, and I feel a pang of attraction in my gut.

  I look away and start wiping down the sink.

  “You sure I can’t do anything to help?” His voice sounds closer now, deeper and lower, reminding me of long, drugging kisses and hot nights in his arms.

  “No. I’m all done,” I say, but I don’t turn around. I’m feeli
ng flustered and heated, and I don’t want him to see what I know is written on my face right now—desire.

  I hate the effect just his voice can have on me.

  “Well then, I guess I’ll head off.”

  “I’ll see you out.” I pick up the hand towel and dry my hands, taking time to cool down. Then, I turn and follow him out to the front door.

  He opens it and steps outside into the night before facing me. He holds the frame with his hand, and my eyes are pulled to his forearm and the veins strongly running through it.

  I’ve traced those veins with my tongue. I’ve tasted every single part of this man. There isn’t a part of his body that I haven’t seen or touched. Or he with mine.

  I feel an ache between my legs and press my thighs together.

  He wets his lips. “Cam…I know I’ve already said it once today, but thank you for having them all here and making them feel so welcome.”

  I realize that I’m staring at his mouth, so I lift my gaze to his eyes. “They are welcome anytime.” And I mean it.

  I’ve missed being a part of the Kincaids. It felt nice to have that chance again today. And it was even better, knowing Gigi will have that and them for the rest of her life.

  “So, I’ll see you tomorrow?” he says.

  “You’re still picking Gigi up from pre-K? I said I’d work overtime tomorrow.”

  “Yeah, I was planning on taking her to my place. Thought we could go down to the water, feed the birds. Unless you want me to bring her here?”

  “No, it’s fine. Take her to yours. She’ll love feeding the birds. I can come straight from work and pick her up after I’m finished. I get off at six.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll bring her home at about half past six.”

  “You sure?”

  “Mmhmm.”

  “Perfect. Thanks, Z.”

  I smile, and his lip lifts at the corner into that sexy smile of his.

  “It’s been a hella long time since you called me that.”

  Shit.

  I called him Z.

  I used to do that only when I wanted him—sexually, I mean.

  I never even realized that was the case until he pointed it out one day. He said that was when he knew I wanted him inside me, which was pretty much all the time.

  And, now, I’ve just called him Z and given myself away. Zeus is nothing if not observant.

  My cheeks heat, and I lower my eyes. “Yeah. Weird.”

  He chuckles softly. “Night, Dove.” Then, he leans close and presses his lips to my forehead.

  The instant his lips touch my skin, the air between us heightens, like a fully charged lightning rod has just been plunged into the ground beneath us.

  I know he feels it, too, because his breaths quicken.

  My pulse starts to throb in my neck.

  His lips linger for long seconds. I’m about to ask what he’s doing even though I’m fully aware of what he’s doing, but I know I need to put a stop to it before it gets out of control. But he shifts closer, and my breasts brush his chest, sucking the words out of my head and all the air out of my lungs.

  His lips trace a path down my temple, stopping to press a soft kiss to my cheekbone and then my jaw. He keeps kissing until he reaches the corner of my mouth.

  My eyes are closed. I open them and find myself staring into his. I know that look. I used to love that look.

  “Z…” I whisper.

  And that’s all it takes.

  His mouth crashes onto mine.

  I open up for him without hesitation. His tongue sweeps inside, sliding against mine, and all rational thought abandons me.

  His hands drag up the material of my long dress to my thighs. He lifts me like I weigh nothing.

  To Zeus, I don’t. The guy is about two hundred fifty pounds of pure, solid muscle, and he squats five hundred pounds for fun.

  My long legs wrap around his waist.

  I’m vaguely aware of movement.

  Then, the front door bangs shut.

  A second later, my back hits the hallway wall.

  And that’s when things get hot and wild.

  We start going at it like we’ve been starved of each other.

  We have.

  Five years of pent-up emotions are pouring out into this one kiss.

  It’s desperate and needy.

  And I can’t get enough…be close enough.

  I writhe against him. My fingers driving into his hair. I grip the strands, pulling.

  He groans into my mouth, making me smile with the power I have over him.

  I take his lower lip between my teeth and sink them in.

  He hisses a sound I’ve missed hearing.

  I meet his sex-heated eyes as I lick away the sting with my tongue.

  His fingers bite into my ass, and he kisses a path down my neck to the swell of my breasts.

  We’re covered by a thick sexual fog, and I can’t see anything outside of it.

  All I can see is him.

  All I want is him.

  His hips press into mine. I can feel him, hot and hard, through the material of my panties, and I moan, loud.

  “Shh, Dove. We have to be quiet.”

  Gigi.

  And that’s the bump back to earth that I need. Her name is like a bucket of ice water being thrown over me.

  I can’t do this. I can’t risk doing this with him and it ending badly.

  I don’t want Gigi getting hurt.

  Or me.

  I can’t gamble my heart on Zeus Kincaid again.

  “Stop.” I push at his chest with my hand.

  He pulls back, looking confused. I slide my legs to the floor.

  “Dove?”

  “I can’t do this with you.”

  His confusion turns to hurt. I see it sear into his eyes.

  He steps back. Drives his fingers into his hair, linking his hands over his head.

  “Cam—”

  “I need you to leave.”

  He stares at me for a long moment until I can no longer take it. I look away, eyes staring down the hall.

  The next thing I hear is the door being yanked open. I feel the cool of the night air hit my skin. The door closes firmly.

  I lean back against the wall.

  He’s gone.

  That’s what I wanted, right? That’s what I told him to do.

  Even still, tears fill my eyes.

  And, when I hear his car engine come to life, something ignites inside me. I don’t want to put a name to the feeling, but I know it well.

  Then, I’m moving. I yank open the front door with no clue as to what I’m going to say to him, only knowing I don’t want him to leave like this.

  But I’m too late.

  His car is already gone.

  Working overtime while functioning on a few hours’ sleep is not good. I feel like a zombie.

  I forgot how hard it was to do a day’s work on little sleep. It’s been a while since I had to do it because Gigi started sleeping through the night like the awesome kid she is by the time she was one.

  Nothing gets in the way of my girl and her sleep.

  Unfortunately for me, plenty was getting in the way of my sleep.

  Well, just one thing.

  Zeus.

  Every time I closed my eyes, I could feel the ghost of his lips on mine and the heat of his body pressed up against me…and the hurt in his eyes when I rejected him.

  I royally screwed up last night.

  I should’ve headed him off at the pass. But I had been weak, and I’d let him kiss me.

  Hell, I’d pretty much attacked his mouth the second he kissed me.

  I haven’t spoken to him since last night. I received a perfunctory text from him earlier, telling me that he’d picked up Gigi from pre-K and they were at his place.

  I could feel the chill emanating from my phone.

  I felt sick, reading it.

  I still feel sick and awful and sad.

  Kissing Zeus last night
only served to remind me of how good things used to be between us. How hot we used to be for each other. How amazing he always made me feel. How easy things between us had been back when we were younger and in love.

  Now, nothing’s easy when it comes to Zeus and me.

  I know I need to talk to him about last night. Clear the air between us.

  But the chickenshit in me just wants to avoid it.

  But I can’t avoid him.

  He’ll be dropping Gigi off later.

  So, I’m just going to have to put on my big-girl panties, woman up, and talk to him like a grown-up.

  I can do it.

  I think.

  Ugh.

  I just need coffee, and the weak stuff in the station’s machine just isn’t going to cut it.

  I push my desk chair out and lock my computer down.

  I’ll make a quick run to the coffee shop. I’m due for a break anyway.

  I grab my purse and head out of the building.

  “Cam,” a familiar voice calls.

  I turn, seeing Rich. He’s dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, a sports bag thrown over his shoulder. He must’ve just finished a shift.

  “Hey.” I smile, watching as he jogs down the station steps, coming toward me.

  “Hey, stranger,” he says when he reaches me.

  I haven’t seen Rich since our failed night out. Not because I’ve been avoiding him. We just haven’t crossed paths at work. We’ve texted a few times. Well, he’s texted me, asking how I’m doing, and I’ve replied, but nothing beyond that. He’s respecting that I have a lot going on in my life right now, and I appreciate that more than he could know.

  “You just getting off?” he asks.

  “No.” I shake my head. “I said I’d work an extra few hours to catch up on the backlog of paperwork we’ve got, but I need coffee, and the station’s machine sucks.”

  “You know the captain does that to get confessions quicker, right? Make the coffee taste like shit and give it to the perps. One sip of that, and they’re begging to tell us the truth just so we’ll make it stop.”

  He grins, and I chuckle.

  “So, that’s why we have a high confession rate.” I play along, slapping my hand to my forehead.

  “But you can’t tell anyone.” He lowers his voice. “It’s our little secret.”

  “Gotcha.” I pretend to lock up my lips, and he laughs.

  “Hell, I’ve missed you, Cam.”

  “I’ve missed you, Dove.” Zeus’s voice echoes in my head.