Ruin Page 20

  He looks away from me. Too quickly. “I need to secure Gigi’s future.”

  I believe that. I do. But I also think there’s something else he’s not telling me. Some other reason he needs the money.

  I’m about to probe when he says, “Will you dance for me?” He brings his eyes back to mine. They’re thoughtful and clear. Whatever was bothering him a moment ago has gone.

  “Now?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Er…no.” I laugh.

  “Why not?” His lips frown at me.

  “Because I’m naked.” I wave a hand down myself.

  “And?” He raises a brow.

  “And I’m not dancing naked.”

  “Strippers do.”

  “I’m not a stripper, you big jerk!”

  I gently jab him in the chest, and he laughs. Catching my hand, he brings it to his lips and brushes a kiss over my knuckles.

  “No, you’re not. You’re my very limber ballerina.”

  His big hand slides down my thigh, lifting it up his body, making me shiver when he palms my ass and squeezes.

  I want him again. And the hardness beneath my leg is telling me that he wants me again, too.

  But I’m also conscious of the time. I’ve been out for much longer than I first anticipated already. I know Aunt Elle is home, and she doesn’t mind. But I mind.

  And, no matter how much I want to stay here, in this bubble with him, and stretch out our time together, I have a little girl waiting for me at home.

  “Do you think our clothes are dry by now?” I ask him. “I should really get home.”

  Zeus’s wanting expression quickly changes into one of disappointment.

  “I reckon so,” he says, sounding despondent.

  “Hey…” I touch my fingers to his chin. “I don’t want to go. But I’ve been out for way too long already. It’s not fair for Aunt Elle,” I say gently.

  “You don’t have to explain yourself. You need to get home to our daughter. I get it.”

  “But?”

  His eyes flash at me. “There’s no but.”

  “There was definitely a but,” I challenge.

  He sighs and looks up at the ceiling again. “It’s stupid.”

  “Nothing you have to say is stupid.”

  There’s a sizable pause, before he says in a low voice, “I’m worried.”

  I cup his cheek and draw his eyes back to mine. “About?”

  Another breath. “That you’re going to leave here…me… go home, and change your mind about us.”

  I stroke my thumb over the scar on his brow. “I’m not going to change my mind.”

  “I just…can’t be without you again,” he whispers, sounding vulnerable.

  It tugs at my chest, making me ache for him.

  I can’t recall the last time I heard Zeus sound this way. He’s always so sure of himself and others. Even when I was fighting against us being together, he was telling me that it was inevitable. And he was right.

  I thought I was the only one with fears over losing him again.

  But it’s clear he’s worried about losing me, too.

  Zeus might have been the one to leave me all those years ago, but that doesn’t mean any of it was easy on him. It’s clearly left scars on him, too. And, somehow, that makes me feel less alone…less fearful of doing this with him.

  “So, don’t be without me,” I say softly.

  His hands come around my face, thumbs spanning my cheeks, as he stares into my eyes. “Babe, the only thing that could take me away from you is death. And I don’t plan on dying anytime soon. It’s not me I’m worried about. It’s you. I’m scared that you’re going to see sense and shut me out again.”

  Scared.

  Zeus Kincaid is scared. His whole persona revolves around him being fearless. Yet here he is, telling me that he’s afraid I’m going to leave him.

  “I’ve never heard you say that you’re afraid.”

  He lets out a self-deprecating laugh. His eyes stay steady on mine. “You fucking terrify me, Dove. You always have. The way I feel about you…”

  Something inside me cracks wide open at his admission. “You terrify me, too,” I admit quietly. “My feelings for you. And you don’t have to worry about me seeing sense and leaving you because, clearly, I’ve never had any sense when it comes to you.” I grin to add levity to the seriousness of the moment.

  His lips lift into that smile of his, the one that can heal and break my heart, all at the same time.

  “Glad to hear it,” he says before kissing me one last time. “Now, come on.” He pats my ass with his hand. “Let’s check on these clothes to make sure they’re dry and get you home to our girl.”

  It’s early. I barely slept a wink last night, and this time, I wasn’t awake with uncertainty over my decision to be with Zeus. Okay, there might have been a little bit of uncertainty, but mostly, there was smiling and heart flips every time I thought of last night with him. I must have run every single moment of the night over in my head about a hundred times.

  Every word he’d spoken to me, every touch, every kiss. Every second of the way he’d made love to me. Like it was our first time.

  God, I feel like a teenager again. Reminiscent of how I felt when we first started dating.

  Only I’m older and wiser this time. Hence, the caution accompanying the fluttery, floating-on-a-cloud feelings.

  I’m staring out the kitchen window, my hands wrapped around my coffee cup, when Aunt Elle wanders into the kitchen, still dressed in her pajamas.

  “Hey, couldn’t sleep?” she comments at my being up early.

  “No,” I say. But I smile, so she knows not to be concerned. There’s usually something wrong if I’m out of bed early.

  “Gigi still in bed?” she asks, pouring a coffee.

  “Yeah. I looked in on her before I came down, and she was still out for the count.”

  Aunt Elle chuckles. “Like mother, like daughter.”

  I flash a smile at her. “I’ll get her up soon.”

  We need to start getting ready for the day. I have work, and Gigi has pre-K.

  “So, how did things go with Zeus last night? You got back late.”

  “Sorry.” My cheeks flush like a guilty teenager.

  “Don’t apologize. You’re a grown woman.”

  “And a mother.”

  “I was here all night, Cam. It doesn’t matter what time you came home. I just want to make sure everything is okay with you.”

  I can’t keep the smile off my face. I bring my cup to my lips, trying to cover it.

  But she sees. And she grins. “So, from that smile, should I take it that everything is good between you and Zeus?”

  I take a sip of coffee and hold the cup to my chest.

  “He bought a house.” Pause. “For him…me, and Gigi.”

  Her eyes widen. “Wow.”

  “Yeah.” I sigh. “He says he’s here to stay, and he wants me to know that. Also, he wants us to live with him.”

  “Okay. And what did you say?”

  I bite my lip.

  Aunt Elle has never judged my choices, and she’s never made comments on any of the decisions I’ve made in my life, especially since Zeus has come back. But I still feel worried over what she might think of us getting back together. After everything that happened between Zeus and me, she was there with me at my lowest points. After he left, she saw how wrecked I was, and then she had to witness the devastation I went through when I believed he wanted nothing to do with our baby. I’m concerned that she’ll think I’m nuts to give him another chance and risk getting hurt again.

  Although she did collude with him behind my back on the Disney World trip, so maybe she won’t be as opposed to the idea as I think she might be.

  “I said no to living with him, of course. But I did say…” I pause again, biting the inside of my lip. Then, I blow out a breath and tell her, “I said I’d give him another chance. So, I guess we’re back together. But we’
re taking it slow.” I’m quick to say, “And we’re not telling Gigi until I know for sure that I can trust him again and make it work.”

  She doesn’t say anything. Just nods her head and takes a sip of her coffee. I can feel myself starting to crack.

  “You think I’m crazy for giving him another chance, don’t you?”

  “Are you happy?” she asks me out of left field.

  I don’t have to think about this because I know the answer. “Yes.”

  “Then, that’s all I care about. You’re smart. You always have been. You don’t make decisions lightly. I know you thought this through in a hundred different ways before deciding to give him another chance. And, no matter how much I would love to kick his ass for hurting you all those years ago, I also know from what you told me that he had his reasons. Right or wrong, he did what he thought he had to. He hurts you again, and I’ll bury him.” She grins, making me laugh. “But he loves you. I see the way he looks at you, same way he’s always looked at you—like you’re his entire world. And he’s a great father to Gigi. So, to answer your question, no, I don’t think you’re crazy.”

  “That was quite a speech.” I grin, the unease I felt before quickly ebbing away.

  “I know. I impress myself with my awesomeness at times.” She flashes a smile at me. “You want some breakfast?”

  I don’t get a chance to respond to her question as my cell phone starts to ring on the counter, interrupting us.

  “It’s Zeus,” I say, seeing his name on the display. Butterflies swoop from my stomach and up into my chest, making me feel giddy.

  I’m ridiculous. I’ve known Zeus forever. We have a child together. It’s not like this is a new relationship. Still, it somehow feels new.

  Aunt Elle gives me a knowing smile and heads for the door, coffee in hand. “I’ll leave you to it.”

  “Hey,” I answer on a smile. “I haven’t changed my mind about us, if that’s what you’re calling to check on.”

  There’s a brief pause.

  Then, he says, “I’m outside. Can you come to the door?”

  “My door?” I say stupidly.

  “Yeah. I…need to talk to you.”

  Well, if that doesn’t make me nervous, nothing will.

  “Okay. I’m coming.”

  I hang up my cell, slipping it into the pocket of my pajamas. I walk quickly and quietly to the front door, my stomach churning with nerves. A hundred scenarios as to why he’s here at this time in the morning are flashing through my mind. The main thought being that he’s here to tell me he’s leaving, which is stupid. I know he loves me and is here to stay.

  He said that before, remember? the scared voice in my head reminds me.

  I unlock the door and open it.

  Zeus is standing on the porch, close to the steps. He’s wearing running shorts and a tank. His skin is covered in a fine sheen of sweat.

  He doesn’t make a move to come over, and that has me even more worried.

  “You want to come in?” I ask.

  He shakes his head.

  He doesn’t want to come in. That’s not a good sign.

  I step out onto the porch and shut the door behind me. The wood is cold beneath my bare feet. I wrap my arms around myself, warding off the chill I feel.

  “You ran here?” I ask, referring to his clothes.

  “Yeah. I needed to burn off some energy.”

  His eyes quickly move off me. Like he’s afraid to look at me. That means he’s keeping something from me. And he’s restlessly moving his hands, clenching his fists in and out, which means he’s agitated. Those have always been his tells. In this moment, I hate that I know him so well.

  “What’s going on?” I curse the tremor in my voice.

  The sound of me speaking brings his eyes back to mine. I expect them to be closed off, like they always are when he doesn’t want me to know what’s going on with him.

  But, instead of shuttered eyes, I see them shimmering with unease.

  Dropping my arms to my sides, I take a step closer to him. “Zeus, what’s going on?” I say more forcefully. “You’re starting to scare me.”

  “Shit. Sorry.” He steps forward and then stops before reaching me. He pushes his fingers through his hair and blows out a breath. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

  Oh God. Here we go.

  “It’s not about me and you,” he’s quick to say. “Well, it is about me and you. But not in the way you think.”

  “I don’t know what to think right now because you’re not making much sense.” I pull my pajama top sleeves over my hands, holding on to the fabric with my fingers.

  “Sorry. I just…fuck.” He fixes his eyes on me. “My publicist called me last night while you and I were together. But I had my phone turned off. After I dropped you home, I turned it back on and saw that I had a bunch of missed calls and messages from him.”

  “What did he want? And what does this have to do with me?”

  “Before I tell you, you need to know that I was up all night, trying to fix this. To stop it from happening, but…it was too late.”

  “Fix what, Zeus?” My voice is firmer now because I want to know what the hell is going on. My heart hasn’t pounded this hard with fear since the night he broke up with me over the phone.

  “A story went out last night on Pharos.”

  It’s one of those trashy news sites, which I’m ashamed to admit that I peruse from time to time.

  “About…well, you.”

  “Me?” My hand goes to my chest in shock. “Why would there be a story about me on there?”

  “The pictures of us together in Disney World. I guess they piqued some piece-of-trash journalist’s interest. It makes sense because, as far as anyone knows, I’m a single guy. And then I’m there at Disney with you and Gigi. I should have considered this before I took you both there, but I don’t pay much attention to the press, except for when I have to for fights.”

  “What are they saying? You said the story is about me, right? So, what’s been said? That we have a child together? You and I are together? What?”

  His eyes do a tour of everything but me, and my stomach drops through the floor because I know I’m not going to like what he’s about to say.

  His eyes meet mine again. “They’re saying you got pregnant and didn’t tell me. That you kept Gigi from me. That you work at a police station during the day, and at night, you…”

  “What?” I demand.

  “Strip. They’re saying you work as a stripper.”

  “I do, what?” The word bellows from my lungs, actually forcing myself back a step. “A stripper? A fricking stripper? They said I’m a stripper? I’m not a stripper! I was a go-go dancer! Not once have I taken my clothes off for money! Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I haven’t done it! And I most definitely didn’t keep Gigi from you!”

  He comes to me. His big hands wrapping around my biceps. “I know that, Dove. But some asshole made up this bullshit story and printed it.”

  “Well, that’s just fucking great!” I pull from his hold, moving away, needing some space. I walk to the edge of the porch and curl my hands around the railing, taking in and exhaling a few breaths. I tilt my head in his direction. “Can they do this? Print lies like this?”

  I almost want to slap myself in the face for asking that.

  Of course they can. The press is notorious for printing whatever they damn well feel like, truth or not.

  “I’m sorry,” he says, sounding remorseful.

  “Why are you sorry?” I straighten up, facing him, one hand still holding on to that railing. It’s like I need the support to ground me, so I don’t run from here and straight to the person who printed this crap about me to kick the bullshit right out of them. “It’s not like you printed these lies about me. It’s not your fault this is happening.”

  He lets out a self-deprecating noise through his nose. “Babe, everything that goes wrong in your life is because of me. T
his is no exception. They wouldn’t have targeted you if I were just some normal guy. It’s because of what I do for a living…who I am to them. It makes me newsworthy. Meaning they will spin whatever shit they can to make a story sound juicier.”

  “God, it makes me so angry!” I rage, teeth gritted. “I can’t believe they just get to do this! And, now, people are going to think I’m a stripper. What if the kids at school say mean stuff to Gigi? And—” My thoughts are spiraling out of control.

  “It’s going to be all right, Cam.”

  “No, it’s not!” I yell at him. But I’m not yelling at him; I’m yelling at the asshole who printed this story. “It’s not your name that’s currently getting tarnished. It’s mine!” I bang a hand to my chest, tears trying to force their way up.

  I grab my cell from my pajama pocket and pull up a search engine. I type my name in it.

  “What are you doing?” Zeus steps closer.

  “Finding out exactly what people are saying about me.”

  “That’s not a good idea.”

  He goes to wrap his hand over my phone, but I move it out of the way.

  “I have to know.”

  My page fills with news stories, the headlines screaming at me.

  Zeus Kincaid Has a Secret Child! Click here to read all about his secret daughter and the stripper who kept his baby from him.

  Zeus Kincaid and the Stripper Who Had His Baby and Kept It Secret for Four Years—Until Now. Click here for the full exposé.

  Everything You Need to Know About Cameron Reed, Stripper and Zeus Kincaid’s Baby Mama. Click here to read more.

  I click on the third link. The page loads, and the first thing I see is a picture of me—a seriously unflattering picture of me dancing on a podium at the club. There’s a pole, and I’m holding on to it, head thrown back, leg curled around it. I’m wearing sparkly hot pants and a matching bra top. I look like I could be pole-dancing. Or stripping.

  “Jesus…” I groan, staring at the picture, unable to look away.

  Zeus slides my phone from my hand and from my view, and I let him. “You don’t need to see those.”

  “I never stripped.” I look up at him with imploring eyes, knowing how incriminating that picture looks.