Ruin Page 7

  But I guess Aunt Elle deals with liars every single day, that it’s part of her makeup now to be suspicious of people.

  I could tell Zeus wasn’t lying. His reaction alone when he realized he had a daughter wasn’t something you could fake.

  I spent all these years hating him for walking away from Gigi, and now, I know the truth…that he didn’t abandon her. I don’t know how to feel.

  He cheated on me. That fact hasn’t changed.

  And, now, it’s all I’ve got left to hold on to, to keep my anger and resentment alive for him.

  Because seeing Zeus after all this time has rattled my emotions. It always was impossible for me to be around him and not feel something.

  And, after his parting words yesterday, I have to keep him at arm’s length.

  “I came for you.”

  I don’t know exactly what he meant by that. What he wanted from me. Well, whatever it was, I don’t intend to find out.

  Zeus broke my heart, and I won’t let him do it again.

  He’s here for Gigi now, and that’s fine. Well, it’s not fine. It’s hard.

  It feels difficult that she’s going to have another parent now. I’ve been her only one for so long. And, as much as I’m glad that she’s going to have her father, it’s still scary for me that, going forward, I’m going to have to share her with Zeus.

  I’m dressed and ready and sipping on a cup of coffee, trying to steady my jittery nerves before he gets here.

  Gigi’s upstairs, getting dressed.

  I told her yesterday that we were going out to the park with an old friend of Mommy’s. And, being the kid she is, she heard the word park, and nothing else registered. To her, it’s no big deal.

  But it’s everything.

  And I don’t know if I’m handling this whole situation right.

  If there’s a certain way I should be doing things.

  Maybe I’m getting it wrong, not telling Gigi right away that Zeus is her father. I just don’t want to confuse or upset her. I think, if she at least knows him before I drop the bombshell, it might make things easier.

  I hope.

  Zeus is easy to fall in love with.

  I learned that the hard way.

  I just pray that Gigi never has to experience what it’s like to lose Zeus.

  Aunt Elle wanders into the kitchen, ready for work. “You look pretty,” she says.

  I stare down at my outfit.

  I’m wearing skinny jeans and a chunky white knit top with thigh-high brown boots. I curled my hair, and I’m wearing makeup. I wouldn’t usually make this much of an effort to take Gigi to the park, but he is my ex, who left me for another woman, and I refuse to look shitty around him.

  “Too much?” I ask.

  “Perfect.” She winks.

  I grab a cup, pour her some coffee, and hand it to her. No need to ask Aunt Elle if she wants one. Her blood type is caffeine.

  “Where’s Gigi?” she asks.

  “Upstairs, getting dressed. She insisted on dressing herself,” I tell Aunt Elle.

  She raises her brows. “Should be interesting.”

  Gigi’s style can be a little flamboyant when she’s allowed to dress herself.

  “I’m actually looking forward to seeing what she wears.” I chuckle.

  “You ready for today?”

  “Nope.”

  “It’s going to be fine, Cam.”

  “I don’t know.” I sigh.

  “Cam, he screwed you over, and I hate him for it. But, if you believe he knew nothing about you being pregnant, then I believe him. And, after thinking about it, it does make sense. Family is important to Zeus. Fidelity, not so much. But his family is everything to him. He would do anything for those brothers and that sister of his. Gigi’s his blood. He’s not going to hurt her.”

  “Yeah, you’re right.”

  “I’m always right.” She grins, drains her coffee, and puts her cup down in the sink. “I’m heading into the station. But I can wait to leave if you want me to hang around until Zeus arrives.”

  “No, you head off. I’ll be fine.”

  I hear the telltale thud of Gigi coming down the stairs. For a dancer who’s light on her feet, she sure is like an elephant on those steps.

  “Mommy?” she calls.

  “Kitchen,” I call back.

  With a smile on my face, I watch her through the open doorway as she wanders toward me.

  She’s wearing black leggings with skulls on them, which were part of last year’s Halloween costume. A gray My Little Pony T-shirt, denim jacket, and her brown fur-lined boots. And, to finish the ensemble, a bright blue tutu, which was part of her costume from her last dance recital.

  She actually looks cool as hell.

  “Well, look at you, Gigi girl,” Aunt Elle says when she enters the kitchen.

  “You wike my clothes, Granny Elle?”

  Aunt Elle picks her up and kisses her cheek. “I love them. You look beautiful.” She lowers Gigi to her feet. “Right, Granny Elle’s going to work. You have a good time today, Gigi girl.”

  Aunt Elle stops and kisses me on the cheek. “Breathe,” she whispers to me. “It will be fine. And, remember, I know how to dispose of a body without it ever being found.”

  I meet her twinkling eyes and chuckle. “Love you,” I tell her.

  “Love you, too. And love my Gigi girl.” She blows Gigi a kiss and then walks out of the kitchen.

  I turn to Gigi as Aunt Elle leaves. “You want me to do your hair?” I ask Gigi.

  “No. Want to wear it down.”

  “Have you brushed it?” I already know the answer to that question.

  “I’s get the brush,” she sings and skips out of the kitchen. A few minutes later, she returns with the brush and her favorite headband that has Disney princesses on it. “Can you put this on, Mommy?”

  “Sure, baby.” I brush her long hair out. Then, I move in front of her and fix the headband in place. I lean down and place a kiss on the tip of her nose. “Pretty girl,” I tell her.

  She presses her hands to my cheeks. “Not as pwetty as you, Mommy.”

  “No way!” I exclaim. “You’re way prettier than Mommy.”

  She grins at me.

  Jesus, I love her so much, it hurts sometimes.

  I just pray to God that Zeus doesn’t hurt her.

  I glance at the clock on the wall. Ten fifty-five. I told him to be here at eleven. He’d better not be late. Zeus and being on time didn’t always have the best relationship.

  A minute later, the doorbell rings.

  And my heart gallops off into a race.

  I open the door.

  Zeus is standing there, looking as handsome as ever in blue jeans and a black sweater.

  “Hi,” I say.

  “Hey, Cam.” His eyes hold mine for a beat before coming down to Gigi. “Hey, Gigi.” He smiles widely at her. “You look really pretty today. Is that a tutu?”

  “Gigi dressed herself today,” I tell him.

  “Well, I think you did a great job. These are for you.” He brings his hand from behind his back. He’s holding a large gift bag and a bunch of daisies that are all wrapped up and look like they came from a florist.

  “You got me a pwesent? And flowers? But it’s not my birthday.”

  I see the pain that flickers across his countenance, and I just know he’s thinking about the four birthdays that he missed.

  “I know, but I wanted to get you a gift. I hope that’s okay?” His question is more for me than Gigi.

  I give him a small nod, telling him it’s fine, and his expression relaxes.

  “Say thank you, Gigi.”

  “Thank you.”

  “And I got these for you.” He pulls out from behind his back a bunch of Oriental lilies—my favorite flower—and hands them to me.

  I blankly stare down at them, my heart racing in my chest.

  “You don’t like them anymore?” His face falls.

  “No. I mean, yes. It�
�s just…” I glance down at Gigi and then back to Zeus. “You don’t have to bring me flowers.”

  “I know I don’t. I wanted to.”

  “I just don’t think it’s appropriate,” I whisper that last word.

  His brows furrow with a flash of anger in his eyes; if I didn’t know him as well as I do, I would have missed it.

  “It’s just a gift, Dove.”

  “Dove?” Gigi says, sounding confused.

  “It’s a nickname I used to call your mom,” Zeus explains to her.

  “You knew my mom before you was our new mailman?”

  “Gigi, this is Zeus. The friend I was telling you about.”

  Gigi stares at me, puzzled. “Your friend is our new mailman?”

  Me and my big, stupid mouth.

  “Oh. Well, um, I…I…” I’m faltering.

  “I was your new mailman.” Zeus steps in for me, crouching down in front of Gigi so that he’s eye-level with her. “But I’m not very good at it, so your old mailman is coming back.”

  “Oh, that’s sad for you. But I’m happy that Burt’s back, so he can tell me more jokes.”

  Zeus’s lip lifts at the corner. “I know I’m not your mailman anymore, but I’d like to be your friend, if that’s okay with you?”

  Gigi’s big blue eyes blink up at me, looking for confirmation that it’s okay.

  “It’s okay, Gigi.”

  “Okay, we can be fwiends.” She steps a little closer to him and whispers, “Just so you know, I’m an awesome fwiend to have.”

  Zeus chuckles. “I bet you are.”

  “What’s your name?” she asks even though I told her it not one minute ago. “’Cause, if we fwiends, I has to know your name.”

  “Zeus Kincaid.” He holds his hand out to her, and she puts her little hand in his. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  “Zweus is a funny name.” The way she says his name is the cutest thing ever.

  Still, the parent in me has to call her out for saying his name is funny. “Gigi, that’s not a nice thing to say.”

  “Sorry,” she says to Zeus, lowering her eyes and pulling her hand from his, retreating back to my side.

  “It’s fine.” He smiles warmly at her. “It is a funny name. Not pretty like yours. But you know, Gigi, I was named after a god.”

  Her eyes widen. “You know God’s name?” she says with awe.

  Zeus chuckles. “Not God’s name. Zeus was a Greek god. The god of the sky. He controlled thunder and lightning.”

  “I’s scared of thunder and lightning.”

  “Well then, I’ll protect you from it.” He winks at her before rising to stand.

  “So, shall we get going then?” I say. “Let’s put these inside,” I tell Gigi, taking the flowers from her.

  “Can I open it now?” she asks, holding up the gift bag.

  “Sure,” I tell her.

  She pulls out the present, handing the bag to me, and lets out a shriek. “Mommy, look! It’s the Magical Princess Twilight Sparkle!” She hugs it to her chest.

  She’s shrieking because she’s been desperate for one. But, with a price tag of a hundred dollars, it’s a tad out of my budget.

  “That’s a really expensive toy,” I say to Zeus, my brows lifting.

  He just shrugs. “The lady in the shop said it’s the big toy this year.”

  And didn’t she just see him coming?

  I smile at his generosity. “It’s really kind of you,” I tell him. “Say thank you to Zeus, Gigi.”

  “Thank you, Zweus!” Gigi runs at him and wraps her arms around his leg, hugging him.

  The look on his face makes my heart constrict in my chest. I watch as his eyes fill with that level of emotion that only your child can make you feel.

  He places his hand on her head and clears his throat. “You’re welcome, Gigi.” His voice sounds like gravel.

  Gigi lets go of him, her expression one of absolute joy. “Can I take it to the park with me, Mommy?”

  “I don’t know. It’s an expensive toy, Gigi.”

  “I be careful, I pwomise. Pwease, Mommy.” She begs with those gorgeous eyes of hers.

  “How about this? You can take it with you. But, when we reach the park, Princess Twilight Sparkle will stay with Mommy until you’re done playing.”

  “Yay! Mommy, you da best!” She bounces on the spot.

  “Let me just put these inside”—I gesture to the flowers—“and then we can get going.”

  I go inside, leaving Gigi on the porch with Zeus. I quickly fill the sink with water, setting the flowers in it. I’ll put them in vases when I get back.

  I grab my bag and my and Gigi’s jackets.

  When I get back on the porch, Gigi and Zeus are sitting on a step, and she’s giving Zeus a full lowdown on all the My Little Pony character names. He’s intently staring at her, hanging on every word she’s saying.

  I feel an ache in my chest for him because he’s missed out on four years with her.

  “Ready?” I say.

  They both turn, and Zeus gets to his feet. Gigi hops up.

  “Whereabouts is the park?” Zeus asks me.

  “It’s a fifteen-minute walk. But we can drive there if you want. I was thinking we could get some lunch afterward at Gigi’s favorite diner, if you want?” I want them to have a decent amount of time together.

  “Sounds perfect.” He smiles wide. “I can drive us there. I’ve got a car.”

  “Gigi needs a car seat,” I tell him.

  “All covered.” He walks off our porch and down the garden path, toward an Audi A7. “Rental car. I had them put in a car seat.”

  I warm at the knowledge that he thought to do that.

  Gigi skips over to his car. He opens the back passenger door, letting her in.

  I watch with amusement as he struggles to fasten her into the car seat.

  “It’s easy, Zeus. That stwap goes over here and then cwicks in there.”

  “You want me to do it?” I offer.

  “No. I got it.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yep.”

  I hear a grumble and a grunt. Then, finally, a click.

  “Yay! Good job, Zweus! You dids it!” Gigi claps, and I laugh.

  The look I get from Zeus is one of amusement.

  “You need a college degree to fasten that thing.”

  I nod in agreement.

  I climb in the passenger side and buckle myself in.

  Zeus gets in. I give him directions to the park, and then we’re off.

  “Where are you staying?” I ask him.

  He glances at me. “I was staying with Ares at his place in New York. But since…” He moves his eyes in Gigi’s direction. “I wanted to be closer, so I’m at the Travelodge in Manhasset.”

  I laugh softly and shake my head.

  “What?” He gives me a puzzled look.

  “You’re driving an Audi A7 but staying in a Travelodge. You do know there’s a nice hotel not far from the marina.”

  “I don’t need a nice hotel, Cam. It’s just a place to sleep and shower. I do need a safe car for Gigi to ride in, and this is one of the best.”

  Well, if that doesn’t put me in my place in the best kind of way.

  Zeus has always been a basic kind of guy. Material things have never really mattered to him.

  The people he loves are what matter to Zeus.

  That’s what made it hurt all the more when he just disregarded me without a second thought.

  Gigi starts talking in the backseat, telling Zeus that we’re passing by her friend’s house, and she doesn’t stop commanding his attention. And he thoughtfully listens to her, taking it all in.

  I half-listen to her—partly because I already know everything she’s saying, but also because being in this car with him is assaulting me with the hundreds of memories of time spent in the old Chevy truck that Zeus used to drive.

  When my eyes fix on his strong hands on the steering wheel, my memories move off into a
whole other territory, and I feel myself flush.

  It’s like he can read my thoughts. His eyes turn to mine and hold for a fraction of a second, but the heat in his eyes is unmistakable.

  “I came for you.”

  I avert my eyes and stare out the passenger window, my heart beating out of my chest.

  There are a few kids at the park when we arrive. But Gigi doesn’t go over to them. She heads straight for the empty swings, and Zeus follows behind her because she wants him to push her on one.

  I follow, hugging Princess Twilight Sparkle to my chest, as Gigi wouldn’t leave her in the car. She said she’d get lonely there without us.

  I recognize some of the parents in the park from Gigi’s school. I wave but don’t go over to talk to them like I normally would, as I don’t want to have to answer awkward questions about Zeus, and I opt to take a seat on the bench near the swings.

  He puts on a ball cap that he pulled out of the glove box. “Just in case,” he told me.

  I am hoping they don’t recognize him, as I don’t want people asking why he’s here with me and Gigi. But I know it’s wishful thinking on my part. Zeus stands out. With his huge height and massive frame, he’s unmissable. He also has an aura about him that just attracts people to him. And it doesn’t help that he’s incredibly good-looking.

  Well, it doesn’t help me at the moment.

  It’s easy to remember all the reasons I fell in love with this guy and forget all the reasons we’re not together now.

  I watch him with Gigi. She’s on the swing, and he’s pushing her.

  She’s giggling and saying, “Higher, Zweus! Higher!”

  “Not too high, Gigi,” the concerned parent in me calls over.

  Zeus nods at me, telling me that he’s got it. Not in a crappy way. More of a trust-me way.

  And I’m going to have to trust him with my—our daughter. It’s just hard. I’ve been parenting Gigi alone for the last four years. It’s going to be hard, letting him have a say. But I have to. And this is the start of it.

  “Slide now, Zweus!” Gigi jumps off the swing before it stops moving, giving me anxiety. She runs over to the slide, which is closer to the parents.

  I can see the way they’re looking at him, especially one of the dads, like he recognizes Zeus.

  And, if they haven’t figured out who he is, then they will from Gigi calling out Zeus’s name.